HOST: Welcome to The Common Thread, brought to you by DUPIXENT MyWay® for DUPIXENT® (dupilumab), where we discuss some of the specific needs and potential stressors facing caregivers of children. Today, I have a special guest.

GUEST: Hi, Kendell. I’m Sasha Broustovetskaia. I’m a behaviorist with a PhD in psychology and a background in mental health and behavior change. I’m glad to be here with you today.

HOST: I'm really excited to have her. She's going to break down some of the research on coping with caregiver stress into small, everyday steps we all can take. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m looking forward to her insight and some ideas for dealing with a few of the common challenges.

GUEST: Yeah, I hope I can offer some helpful techniques to try. But keep in mind, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. At the end of the day, you have to make the best choice you can for your child, which means it’s often about trying various approaches until you find something that works for your family.

HOST: So, let’s jump in, Sasha. I get questions from caregivers all the time about things they’re struggling with and often they’re at their wits’ end. They’ve tried everything in their bag of tricks, per se, and are looking for suggestions.

GUEST: Sure.

HOST: So, I want to start off with one of the most common concerns I hear from caregivers—self-doubt. So many caregivers worry they may not be making the right decisions for their children and are constantly playing “what-ifs” in their heads. Any suggestions?

GUEST: Yeah, a lot of caregivers feel that way and they may second guess themselves frequently. The thing is, in most cases, there isn’t really a right choice.

HOST: I was afraid you were going to say that.

GUEST: Yeah, well what’s that old adage? Kids don’t come with instructions, right?

HOST: As a mother myself, I can attest to that! OK, so this may sound funny, but I read something in a parent’s journal that relates to self-doubt. It was about making a “worry box.” Are you familiar with this and could it be a helpful approach for caregivers?

GUEST: Yes, actually, that’s a great thing to bring up. A worry box can be a good approach to managing self-doubt and worry thoughts. The idea is that when you start down a negative path, you say to yourself “nope, not right now.” You jot down what’s on your mind and stick it in the box. Then give yourself some time every day to read through your thoughts, think about what you can tackle, or who you could ask for support. If you can’t resolve something right away, that’s OK, too. Think about steps you could take to address what’s causing your worry.

HOST: I’ve never tried that myself, but it sounds very doable!

GUEST: It takes some practice, and you shouldn’t expect your worries to disappear. That’s not the goal here. The idea is to try not to let the worries or doubt take over. That way you can better focus on the facts when making decisions for your children, rather than getting caught in a spiral of self-doubt.

HOST: Got it. That totally makes sense. I may need to try that one at my house! OK, so here’s one. How can caregivers cope with a child that isn’t being particularly cooperative? I know from my own experience it can be very stressful not knowing how to support them from day to day and remain calm yourself.

GUEST: Well, first of all I want to say I really do appreciate how stressful this can be. But in a stressful moment, you actually have an opportunity to practice positive coping behaviors which may help calm you and your child.Sometimes it can help to simply take a break and do something fun together. While a child is engaged in play, you may have the opportunity to let them know it’s OK to be anxious, afraid, or upset—so you can acknowledge what your child is feeling.

HOST: OK, that makes sense. So, what can we do, as caregivers, to better support them?

GUEST: When someone is upset, our gut reaction may be to reassure them. And sometimes that’s helpful, but sometimes reasoning with children by saying things like “it’s not that bad” or “you can do this” isn’t the most effective approach.

HOST: I say things like that all the time. Is that wrong?

GUEST: No, it’s not wrong. We’re all doing the best we can in the moment, right? Another way to help support your child when they’re upset or nervous is to try to put yourself in their shoes, so to speak. Whatever’s going on IS a big deal to them. Observe and acknowledge what your child might be feeling in the moment and let your child know it’s OK to feel that way. Then, it may be a good idea to take a break and lighten the mood. And, you know your child best, so think of something that may help them to cope. There are lots of things you can try to lighten the mood and help calm or distract your child.

For example, you could sing a silly song or make one up together. You could let your child choose a song to sing when they’re nervous or stressed.

HOST: My son would definitely be into picking his own song.

GUEST: That’s perfect actually! Letting your child decide what helps them feel more comfortable in a difficult situation can help them feel like they have a say and may help them cope better. Children usually respond favorably when they know what to expect, so mapping out a coping plan together is another way you could give your child a sense of control. If your child has a special toy or a piece of clothing they like to wear to help them cope, let them. And having a few options can help the child relax, but also help you remain calm.

HOST: That’s a really good idea.

GUEST: And remember, some days will be better than others. So you shouldn’t give up if one idea doesn’t work for them. Try another.

HOST: What about caregivers who feel they’re not doing enough for their kids? I know some of us feel like our time is split between so many things.

GUEST: That’s a common struggle but it’s important to remember that you’re only human. Practicing self-compassion can help you remember to not be so hard on yourself.

HOST: Can you walk us through what practicing self-compassion might look like?

GUEST: Sure. Self-compassion is noticing what you’re going through and taking some time to take care of yourself. Think of some things you’d do for a friend or loved one to make them feel cared for. Or you can practice talking to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend or loved one.

HOST: So, for someone like me, who’s never done this before, where do I start?

GUEST: It could be as simple as creating a stack of index cards, or a note or voice memo in your phone, with reminders of how strong and capable you are, things you might say to someone else in a similar situation, like “good enough is enough,” “you’re enough,” “you’re doing the best you can.”

HOST: That sounds so empowering!

GUEST: It may really change your perspective. Sometimes you may need to be reminded that you are trying to do the best you can for your child, but no one is perfect. And remember, if you’re going through a rough time, you’re not alone. It’s OK to reach out to your support network for help.

HOST: That’s a really good point. Sometimes we forget we don’t have to do it all alone. We can always ask for help. And on that note, I’m going to ask for your help wrapping up because, unfortunately, we’re running out of time.

GUEST: Well, it’s been fun and I’ve really enjoyed being here. And I just want to say thanks for making this happen, Kendell.

HOST: Thank you for letting me pick your brain today, Sasha.

GUEST: Absolutely. I hope some of these techniques are helpful but remember, we’ve just scratched the surface today. It’s really about what works for you and your child.

HOST: If nothing else, I hope this conversation helps all of us remember we’re not alone. We all face a lot of the same daily challenges. And I’ll leave you with today’s common thread—be a little kinder to yourselves, reach out to others for support, and take a step back to get some perspective once in a while. Again, thanks for being here today, Sasha! And to all of our caregivers out there, until next time…

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